Princeton economics professor and former presidential advisor suffersthird degree burns on 50% of his body after carrying a flaming Christmas tree out of his house. The tree was set on fire by one of 10 lit candles decorating it.
Where to start?
First and foremost, why is the Christmas tree still up in February? If this is not blasphemy, I don’t know what is. It’s ASH WEDNESDAY for Christ’s sake. We have moved past the birth and are now preparing for the death and resurrection. Take the tree down.
Possibly the worst thing about leaving the tree up until February is that this was clearly not an act of laziness. Let’s just say you are a busy Princeton professor and didn’t have time over your month-long winter break or gruelling office hours to take down the tree. Maybe you’re writing your memoirs. Whatever. It’s a lot of work to un-decorate a tree and haul it to the curb. But no. There were actually lit candles on this tree, indicating that the good professor was sitting idly on the sofa (perhaps writing his memoirs) and decided to LIGHT the candles on the tree, exerting actual energy and actual matches to light them. He was still actively enjoying the Christmas tree. In February.
Secondly, who lights actual candles on a Christmas tree, except arsonists and pyromaniacs? Especially when said tree is 3 months old. You might as well decorate a gas pump with candles.
Also, I believe the fire extinguishing method preferred by the national association of firefighters (whatever) is by FIRE EXTINGUISHER. Or perhaps evacuating the house and calling the fire department. Of all the methods for extinguishing a fire that I can think of, “picking up flaming object and carrying it outside” does not break the top 20.
And finally, how did this guy get to be a professor at Princeton? I can see hiring an idiot as a presidential advisor, as our current situation illustrates that academic excellence is not a prerequisite for government posts, but Princeton is a time-honored, respected Institution of Higher Learning. If the guy survives, this incident should pre-empt any kind of tenure he might have, and they should can him right away.
Stop, drop and roll, people. Stop, drop and roll.
