First of all, I want to say that Jay was using my I-Pass while I was out of town on business. This was not the first time that we have used my I-Pass in his car, but this was the first time I was not in the car when it happened. Did they know that? Weird.
Second of all, if you want to use your I-Pass in someone else’s car, you are supposed to call the I-Pass people and tell them. It’s pretty easy. However, if you wait until you have a toll violation, you will be transferred between the Violation Processing Service and the I-Pass Customer Service no fewer than 25 times. (Hyperbole!) That said, considering the amount of transferring I did this morning, all of the women I spoke with were pretty friendly. They should get some of these people over at the DMV.
I admit that I was surprised that I was allowed to add the second car to my I-Pass account after-the-fact and still have the fines waved. Ex Post Facto, if you will. But the fact is that we did have the I-Pass in the car at the time of the alleged “violation.” So if the fines were for using the I-Pass in a car that wasn’t registered with I-Pass, then we would be guilty for sure. But that’s not what the fines were for, so I guess we’re in the clear.
I’m not sure if I got further by referring to Jay as “my husband,” but “my fiance” sounds too foofy, and “my boyfriend” doesn’t really convey his right to be on my I-Pass. Not that they care about who you have on the I-Pass. I probably think too much about these things. But I did get a glimpse of the alternate universe in which I don’t compromise by hyphenating my last name but rather hold to my belief that a woman shouldn’t change her last name when she marries. That alternate universe goes a little like this:
Customer Service Representative: (confused) “What’s the name on this account?”
Me: “J— M—. He’s my husband.”
CSR: (incredulous) “What’s YOUR name?”
Me: “A— H—.”
CSR: “I have to check to make sure this is ok.”
Me: “…”
CSR: “OK. I’m going to put a note here that says you are his wife. You don’t have the same last name, so it’s kind of confusing.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Good thing I’m in a good mood today because I have the day off of work for Good Friday (Good INDEED). Otherwise, she would have gotten an earful about patriarchy and the transfer of women as property…