So this evening, instead of working out, I went shoe-shopping. I need a pair of knee-high brown boots for an outfit I was going to wear to a thing this weekend, and I have a $5 and $20 coupon from DSW, plus a gift card from my birthday.
The only problem is that I seem to have developed freakishly huge calves. Despite the fake-outcry of certain people when I claimed to have cankles at our Christmas party, I have always had thick ankles. But this fat-calves thing is new to me. I tried on at least 20 pairs of boots today, and not one pair zipped all the way up. Not even the butch motorcycle boots that I tried on even though I knew they wouldn’t go with the outfit I had in mind…
To cap it all off, as I was wrestling with a stack of boxes, trying to get the size 8 out from under all the size 6.5′s, I jostled the shelves a little bit. By jostling the shelf, I accidentally tipped over the size 10 that was on display on top of the shelf. It did a little flip and hit me square in the eye socket, heel first.
I now have a tiny little cut under my eye, which is slightly swollen and hopefully not going to bruise. So, if you see me tomorrow, don’t ask me why I have a black eye. I will probably start crying, and people will assume Jay did it. “I got hit by a boot” isn’t really all that convincing.
P.S. How sad is it that I think the black eye would totally be worth it if I had found a pair of boots that fit?