1/29 Headlines

Sat. 1/30, 10:20 a.m.: Well, so much for Friday night headlines. I am about to meet up with L. for some craaaazy fun bridesmaid dress shopping, but maybe I can squeeze in a couple more pathetic attempts at punchlines.

Sat. 1/30, 10:51 a.m.: I think these are particularly bad today. Sorry.

Bonus fact: We get 3 newspapers a day (4 on Sundays!) because Jay hates trees. Or something like that. Most of these stories are from the Sun Times, though. I like the tabloid size because its easier to read with a cup of coffee in one hand.

• The Defense Department next week will propose for the first time a “way forward” on lifting the military’s ban on gays from serving openly.”Well, I think it’s about time. Maybe if they can serve in the military they’ll finally stop sleeping with Republican politicians.
• A 12 year old boy and a 13 year old girl from Indiana will both be charged with possession of child pornography after getting caught sending naked cell phone pictures to each other.The two will also have to appear on the new VH1 show, Text Rehab with Bristol Palin.
• A 15,000 square foot warehouse dedicated to medicinal marijuana is about to open in Oakland. The one-stop shop for medicinal-marijuana cultivation is being called the Walmart of Weed.Instead of “look out for falling prices,” the store’s slogan will be “look out for Woody Harrelson.”
• Jay Leno went on the Oprah Winfrey show on Thursday to talk about the big late night mess over at NBC. He said he was devastated and that he felt really bad for Conan O’Brien. (ugh. I think I’m over this.)
• The Grammy’s are on this weekend…Yes, the recording academy plans to award “Album of the Year” to Beyonce, but the Republicans are expected to filibuster.