COMMERCIAL PARODY 1 (Filmed)
Father is making coffee. Daughter comes downstairs in a robe and sits down at the kitchen table.
FATHER
You were out late last night.
DAUGHTER
Oh, Dad. I’m not a little girl anymore.
FATHER
I know. But still, it was late.
DAUGHTER
Well, you aren’t going to have to worry about that anymore.
(cut to engagement ring on daughter’s finger, then cut to father smiling.)
ANNOUNCER
For overbearing fathers, whose adult daughters can’t take care of themselves, Oldgers coffee has been reinforcing traditional gender stereotypes for generations.
Cut to sepia-toned old timey dad, daughter and man, dressed as pioneers. The man has 2 goats. All three are drinking coffee.
DAD
My daughter is not very smart, but she has a strong back. With these two goats and some Oldgers coffee, she will make you a happy man.
All three look at the camera and smile. The daughter hugs her new husband.
Cut to an old couple sitting on rocking chairs on a large front porch of a house surrounded by a wheat field.
ANNOUNCER
Oldgers coffee is the coffee of choice for traditionalists, moralists and sentimentalists around the world…
Cut to black and white scene of a man sitting at a table, reading a newspaper. Woman (pregnant, but wearing pearls and high heels) is cooking breakfast in the kitchen.
HUSBAND
Well, I’ll be! This coffee is actually good. You finally learned how to make something that doesn’t make me sick to my stomach!
WIFE
Oh, I’m still a horrible cook, dear. But now that I’ve found Oldgers Coffee, I can spend less time trying to make you a tasty cup of coffee, and more time vacuuming the house in high heels…
They both turn to the camera and smile.
(Musical interlude, with a collage of photographs from various middle class vignettes)
Jingle: The best part of waking up… is living in the past.
Cut back to the first man and daughter.
DAUGHTER
I’m so happy to have found another man to keep me under control.
DAD
He’s a lucky man… At least that’s what I told him when we talked last week.
Flashback to a week earlier. Dad shakes man’s hand and gives him 2 goats.
Fade out.