The Sun Times reports that some rich Chicagoan is suing Chanel because the quality of their clothes is crap. Barbara Kaplan spent $160,000 on Chanel stuff, including two custom-tailored suits, then decided they weren’t worth the money. So she returned everything and is suing to get her money back. We feel very sorry for Barbara, but that whole “hide the tags and return it later” scam is SO high school…
The Sun Times’ cross-dressing (our personal hypothesis) gossip columnist, Michael Sneed reports that former Chicago Bear Gary Fencik is considering a run for Illinois Senate. At this rate, it will be Cade McNown who finally gets the nomination…
Sneed also reports that Cubs GM Jim Hendry is getting a divorce. Yeah, we’d like to divorce him right about now too…
The Daily Herald reports on an Elburn man wanted by police for having sex with a pit bull. Geektastic does not want to recount our various horrifying experiences with Elburn natives (although we have a few), but we suspect that Dan Joyner is not the only Elburnian to have engaged in sexual relations with the family pet. We don’t have any proof, of course, but somebody has to be having sex with men from Elburn, and it certainly isn’t any woman we know.
According to Sun Times Feminism Editor Paige Wiser, Two suburban women have been chosen to appear on “Girls Behaving Badly” on the Oxygen network. Their winning schtick was dressing up like two Russian housekeepers and acting like they couldn’t understand anyone. Geektastic is happy to know that our grandma was actually ahead of her time.
UPDATE: We’re on to you, Girls Behaving Badly! The Russian housekeeper schtick was funnier when Andrea Martin created Perini Scleroso 25 years ago.
Poor, poor Illinois Republicans. The Illinois Leader is reporting that Kirk Dillard is unlikely to accept the party’s nomination to run for Senate against Barack Obama. Dillard is quoted as saying that he thinks he could be Obama, saying “I even read a quote from him where he says he dislikes the suburbs.” Geektastic is a BIG fan of taking quotes out of context, so we’re not even going to spend the time trying to figure out what Dillard is referring to.
Chicago Media Action has released its first “media content analysis” in which they studied WTTW’s “Chicago Tonight”, concluding that the PBS affiliate largely ignores minority and labor issues. Geektastic agrees that Chicago Tonight is full of boring white men, but we’re not sure the answer to the problem is to fill the space with boring minorities and boring labor activists. This sort of “Boring Quota System” is not the answer, and Geektastic will not rest until all boring people are voted off of television and replaced with Andy Dick. [Via Indymedia]
ChicagoThong.org is hosting a “Masks and Thongs Party” on July 23. The party will feature naked twister and body painting, and it costs $5 if you are wearing a mask and a thong (otherwise $10). T.H.O.N.G. stands for “Topless Humans Organized for Natural Genetics” which makes a better acronym than “Naked Hippies for Organic Food” although “NHOF” roughly approximates the sound I made when I read about this event. [via Indymedia]
In case your company doesn’t think playing grab-ass in the mailroom is funny, Second City offers comedy classes for the corporate environment.
A quote from the article: “Then he joked: ‘We know what ROI stands for — it means ‘king’ in French.’ Nudge, nudge — that’s a jab at financial types obsessed with return on investment.”
Hoo! Good one.
Chicago “celebrity” news from The Backer: Winnetka native Charlotte Ross has been fired from NYPD Blue despite objections from Chicago-native, Dennis Franz. We had no idea who Charlotte Ross was, much less that she hails from Winnetka, but we need to grasp onto any bit of celebrity that might come our way.
With all the hubbub about Millenium Park this weekend, the Old St. Pat’s Block Party is bound to be overlooked. Guster is playing tonight, and the Wallflowers are playing tomorrow. The pricetag is a little steep ($35-40), but it includes 5 drink tickets.
The Rock Around the Block festival is cheaper, with just a $5 donation (we dare you to not “donate”). We’re not familiar with most of the bands playing, but it seems like each of the three stages may be highlighting a specific musical style. The South Stage, at Lincoln and Roscoe, appears to be the hippie area, so you’ll definitely want to stay north. (We NEVER thought we’d utter that statement.)