Going Geek on the Cheap

On Monday, we finally get BROADBAND. Hooray! We were going to put if off a while longer, but I got a Tivo for my birthday. That makes sense, right? Let me explain. We only have two phone jacks in the entire house. One is upstairs, and the other is downstairs. The downstairs phone jack is at eye level in the kitchen–basically made for a wall phone. So in order to use the Tivo downstairs, we would have to take the phone off the wall, put a splitter in, and run a phone line all the way across the house. Not only would we have a phone line running across all kind of bad places, but the splitter would make it impossible to have our phone mounted on the wall, so we’d have to put the phone on the kitchen counter. OR. We could put a USB wireless adapter on the Tivo! Fabulous, but a USB wireless adapter does absolutely nothing unless you actually have a wireless router. And a wireless router doesn’t do much unless you have broadband.

And not only am I getting a totally geeked wireless internet/Tivo set-up, but I’m getting it on the cheap, too. I ordered the hub, the USB adapter, and an ethernet card for my PC from amazon.com. By signing up for an Amazon.com Visa card, I got all that stuff for $70. Not to get all mushy on Amazon, but at Best Buy, all that stuff would have cost $120. Of course, I wouldn’t have to wait a week for it to get delivered, but still… I saved fitty bucks. Fitty bucks that will go towards purchasing an Apple Airport wireless card for Jason’s old iBook.

And can I rant about Best Buy for a minute? They only carry the most state-of-the-art equipment. Hello? Some of us still have Windows 98, and I could only find one ethernet card that had drivers for Windows 98 (and it was $10 more expensive than the other ethernet cards). Plus, they only had the “wireless G” routers and adapters. The Tivo and iBook only need “wireless B” so why should I spend extra money for speed that I can’t use? BASTARDS. Plus, Best Buy employees are possibly the slowest retail sales people in North America. Nothing is a priority for these people. Hustle, people, HUSTLE.

So anyway, stay tuned for my adventures in setting up a wireless network. It’s probably not as easy as I think it is.

January 29, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed

The dress

I found the dress! I’d post a picture of it, but the only person who reads this blog anymore is Jay, and he’s the one person who absolutely can’t see the picture. So. I won’t say anything about the dress. I will say that House of Brides should be called House of Pushy Saleswomen. But whatever; they had a ton of dresses, and I found the right one in about 2 hours.

Still, I hadn’t really anticipated that the saleswoman would want to be in the dressing room with me. Have you ever stood in your underwear in front of a total stranger? We got her to leave us alone for a while, but I think she realized that we were taking photos, and then she watched us like a hawk (stupid flash gave us away).

We brought a digital camera, and once we got the saleswoman to leave us alone, we started snapping pictures. I anticipated that we were not really supposed to take pictures, but I guess the MOH (maid of honor) didn’t realize that we were hiding the camera whenever the saleswoman barged in, so she mentioned something about the camera in front of the her, and we got a lecture about the competitiveness of the bridal industry, etc. I don’t really understand what that has to do with taking pictures, but once we agreed to buy a dress, we were allowed to take pictures again.

Then the saleswoman was trying to sell me on a veil. No wonder, really, since they cost $300 or something. I was actually pretty proud of myself. I firmly but politely declined the veil, and even though she persisted, I didn’t give her veil/burka comparison speech or the schpiel about women as property. I just said “no thank you.” Of course, she probably deserved a crazy rant, and maybe it would have made her think twice about trying to sell me more crap.

Towards the end, she told me she was going to sign me up for a free 10 x 13 engagement photo, which was their “gift” to me for buying a dress from them. She practically forced me to fill out the card for the free photo, but then she seemed a little pissed when I checked the box that said I already have a photographer (obviously, they were trying to sell me their photography services). Nevermind the fact that she hadn’t asked me if I had a photographer, and the free photo was “their gift to me” (a phrase she repeated at least 10 times).

When I finally got out of there, I had only committed to buy a dress. No veil, no shoes, no purse, no jewelry. I think it helped that it was 8:30 by the time we got out of there, and I think the saleswoman wanted to go home. Or it could be that she could tell that my mom was about to punch her in the face. Whichever.

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By the way…

Tomorrow’s my birthday! (nananana NA na) Tomorrow’s my birthday!

January 21, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed

Progress!

Finally some progress on the wedding front, and it comes only because the Groom did some work. Found a potential photographer at Cornerstone Photography. When I sent my mom the link, she called me on the phone, and the first thing she said was “well, it’s arty.” BINGO. Jay used to work with her, and I think she has an art background, rather than whatever the hell background wedding photographers usually have.

Jay said one of the photographers where he works once applied for a job with one of those big photography companies, like Edward Fox or somesuch, and they told the guy that most of their photographers didn’t have the kind of art background that he had. Not surprising. I’ve seen some of these wedding photographs, and have been serially unimpressed. It seems like shoving a bunch of people in front of a backdrop and snapping a picture isn’t a lot different from the photography I do at work, where I shove a backdrop behind a huge piece of machinery and snap a picture. Except that I guess the machinery doesn’t have that horrible fake smile…

I did actually e-mail a potential minister. Apparently she only checks her e-mails on Sunday, though, so I’m still waiting to hear back. The good news is that she is not opposed to marrying people who don’t belong to her church, which is something I was a little worried about. As much as I’m not an overly religious person, I would prefer to get married by a minister who has an actual “flock.” Or whatever. The rent-a-rev would do, but it seems a little more genuine if it’s… I hate to say a “real” minister, because maybe these rent-a-revs actually have gone to seminary and studied religion… But anyway, fingers are crossed that she has the date open.

And finally, I HAVE to make an appointment to look at dresses. My mom is going to go insane if I don’t do it soon, but I keep forgetting. And the MOH keeps asking me what kind of dress I want, but I really have no idea, because I am apparently the only woman in the Western world who has not been planning my wedding dress since the day I could walk. Also, the MOH thinks I should get a vintage dress, but the idea creeps me out a little. I think vintage clothes are usually better in theory than in practice. Witness: Vintage Wedding Gowns. Also, vintage would maybe smell musty.

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Boondi, Boondi, Boondi… It’s even fun to pronounce

So I thought Boondi was the brand name for the delicious little pieces of goodness that are the “Chick Pea Puffs” I found at the grocery store yesterday. As it turns out, Boondi is more of a generic name, and there are all kinds of recipes to be made with them! Unfortunately, I’ve been too busy shoving them into my mouth as fast as possible to pause long enough to add them to soups or curry dishes. If your grocery store has an Indian foods section (hooray Schaumburg-area Indian population!), you absolutely must pick up a bag. Just remember to also put it down at some point.

January 6, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed

2004 Zagat Year in Review

The 2004 American Presidential Election
Touted as a “Victory for moral values” George Bush received a “mandate” from the American people who “came out in record numbers” to vote for him and against “sodomy” as well as the “Hollywood liberal elite.” A “polarizing event” in the United States, the election was also a “total fucking travesty” for the average American.

Reconstructing Iraq
“Deteriorating security situation” in this “Middle-Eastern Quagmire” has been a major focus around the world. “Slow but steady progress” was sometimes overshadowed by “Inhumane treatment of prisoners,” “brutal kidnappings and beheadings,” and “high probability of being hit by shrapnel.”

Paris Hilton
“Ubiquitous” Paris Hilton touted her “amateur porn video,” “perfume,” and “jewelry” all over red carpets everywhere, not even stopping long enough to “put on some goddamn underwear, already.” With “no discernable talent” and “mannish physical features,” Paris may soon be replaced as the “Why is She Famous? It Girl” by “younger, less-mannish” Lindsay Lohan.

iPod
College students everywhere shelled out “hundreds of dollars each” for “Crack with earphones,” spawning a slew of “cheap knockoffs” by Sony, Microsoft, and others. The iPod has proven “better than conventional portable music devices” because it’s “pretty” and “endorsed by U2.”

Ron Artest’s NBA Brawl
Ron Artest of the Indiana Pacers went “completely batshit crazy” when he was hit by a “flying cup of beer,” thrown by a “big Detroit loser.” The ensuing “melee” “confirmed everyone’s opinions about Detroit,” and caused sportscasters everywhere to go on “nauseating, self-righteous rants” about “sportsmanship.”

Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
Last year’s “Road Map to Peace” plan has been virtually abandoned, and the Israeli “West Bank Security Barrier” raised eyebrows in the international community. A “mainstay” on the world conflicts scene, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has drawn criticism for offering nothing more than “Same Shit Different Day,” but the November death of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat has many regulars hoping for “fresh opportunity for the peace process.”

Sudan
“Pro-government Sudanese Muslim Arabs” carry out “brutal massacre” of “Sudanese Muslim Blacks.” Dubbed “genocide” by the world community, but largely ignored by American mainstream, with many asking, “What the hell is a darfur?”

January 5, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed