The day the jedi died…

So, for Jay’s birthday, my mom bought him the Star Wars Episode IV-VI dvd box set. He stayed up late on Sunday playing with it, and he tells me that they’ve edited Return of the Jedi so that HAYDEN FUCKING CHRISTIANSON appears with Yoda and Obi Wan in the Ewok village. BLASPHEMY. This is so unacceptable. It’s like flipping through your grandparents’ wedding photo album and finding Hayden Christianson pasted in where your Uncle Stu should be.

OK, Lucas. You can add special effects. You can take out the nubnub song. You can even make Greedo shoot first. But digitally inserting Hayden Christianson into my childhood is an unforgivable offense. I’ll be watching my taped-from-tv VHS versions of Jedi, thankyouverymuch.

May 25, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed

I’m back

So I’ve been spending all my free time writing stuff in exchange for very small sums of cash. It’s been mildly profitable. Found out today, though, that writeforcash.com is closing its doors, at least temporarily. I was able to squeeze out $135 worth of articles this month. Next month, I’ll have to find newer, perhaps more profitable methods of making my beer money.

In fact, I’ve also been writing lengthier articles for Centerstage.net, one of which appeared in the May 12 edition of the Chicago Red Streak. Did you grab a copy? Neither did I. Apparently, the Red Streak is a fictional publication with empty boxes placed on many corners in the city. OK, one person grabbed a copy for me, but I have yet to see it. Never fear, though, I will most likely have another article appearing in this Thursday’s Red Streak. Pick that one up, OK?!?!? Unfortunately, Centerstage.net is even less profitable than writeforcash, as the paycheck rarely covers my beer tab. So in conclusion, I’m not all that great at making extra money. Maybe I should try a paper route.

Well, at least I’ll have some time to blog now.

May 23, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed

Wrigley Report: May Edition

Game Day: May 8, 2005. Yeah, it was Mother’s Day

Seats: Section 533, Row 7, Seats 107 and 108. 3 rows from the absolute back, nosebleed factor: high.

Ceremonial 1st Pitch/7th Inning Stretch Celebrity: BELUSHI (pronounced in disdainful manner similar to Seinfeld’s “NEWMAN.” Jim Belushi is to Chicago what The Sopranos is to Italians. Seriously, we’re not all like that.

Not surprisingly, he was wearing “Cubbie Red.” I hate to say it, but his 7th Inning Stretch performance was pretty good. I have never been so happy to not be able to hear the interview afterwards.

Fashion Report: Tube Top Density was surprisingly low considering the 70+ degree weather. A blessing, since a large portion of the crowd seemed to be over 50. The frat boys must have been home with mom, because there were more retired yuppies than drunken slobs. How nice.

It was pink t-shirt day at Wrigley Field, so there was a resurgence of Cubbie Pink. I hate Cubbie Pink, but you can’t argue with a free T-shirt, so I’m now the proud owner of a pink “Wrigley Field” T-shirt. The shirt’s saving grace is that it’s a “Wrigley Field” T-shirt, not a “Cubs” T-shirt.

Where not to go: We didn’t hear any drunks announce what bar they were headed to after the game. On the L-ride home, two people from Cleveland were talking shit about Chicago-style pizza, and a drunk South Sider started swearing profusely at them. I’m happy to announce that this edition of “Where not to go” is a tie between Cleveland and the South Side.

Dude Factor: (The ratio of the word “dude” in relation to other words in the sentence) 1:1000. If I heard the word “dude” once during the game, it was probably me who said it. Five seats in the row in front of us and three seats in the row behind us were empty, so there weren’t really enough people around. Combine with the heavy Mother’s Day turnout, and you have a pretty peaceful day at the ballpark.

Jay and I were clearly the most obnoxious people in our section, as proven when Jay accidently knocked over the Pepsi belonging to the lady next to us. Sitting in the middle of the row SUCKS, yo! Especially when you have to use the bathroom every 20 minutes like a certain fiance I know…

May 9, 2005 | Geektastic | Comments Closed